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Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition | 
 enlarge | Creator: Harville Hendrix
Publisher: Holt Paperbacks
Category: Book
List Price: $15.00
Buy New: $5.38
You Save: $9.62 (64%)
New (46) Used (19) from $5.38
Rating:  128 reviews
Sales Rank: 1421
Media: Paperback
Edition: Revised and Updated
Pages: 320
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 7.8 x 5.2 x 1.3
ISBN: 0805087001
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.7
EAN: 9780805087000
ASIN: 0805087001
Publication Date: December 26, 2007
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Shipping: Expedited shipping available
Shipping: International shipping available
Condition: Ships immediately! Perfect and New! Has a publisher remainder mark. Revised and Updated. 2007 Paperback.
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Amazon.com Review
When Harville Hendrix writes about relationships, he discusses them not just as an educator and a therapist, but as a man who has himself been through a failed marriage. Hendrix felt the sting of his divorce intensely because he believed it signaled not only his failure as a husband but also his failure as a couples counselor. Investigating why his marriage dissolved led him to start looking into the psychology of love. Marriage, he ultimately discovered, is the "practice of becoming passionate friends." As a result of his research, Hendrix created a therapy he calls Imago Relationship Therapy. In it, he combines what he's learned in a number of disciplines, including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, to name just a few. He expounds upon this approach in Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. His purpose in writing the book, he says, is "to share with you what I have learned about the psychology of love relationships, and to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship." Divided into three sections, the book covers "The Unconscious Marriage," which details a marriage in which the remaining desires and behavior of childhood interfere with the current relationship; "The Conscious Marriage," which shows a marriage that fulfils those childhood needs in a positive manner; and a 10-week "course in relationship therapy, " which gives detailed exercises for you and your partner to follow in order to learn how to "replace confrontation and criticism ... with a healing process of mutual growth and support." The text is occasionally dry and technical; however, the information provided is valuable, the case studies are interesting, and the exercises are revealing and helpful. By utilizing his program, Hendrix hopes you too will be able to solve your marital difficulties without the expense of a therapist. --Jenny Brown
Product Description
REVISED AND WITH A NEW FOREWORD ARE YOU GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT? Originally published in 1988, Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr. Hendrix’s updated philosophy for eliminating all negativity from couples’ daily interactions, allowing readers of the 2008 edition to benefit from his ongoing discoveries during his last two decades of work. Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., in partnership with his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD., originated Imago Relationship Therapy, a unique healing process for couples, prospective couples, and parents. Together they have more than thirty years’ experience as educators and therapists and their work has been translated into more than 50 languages, with Imago practiced by two thousand therapists worldwide. Harville and Helen have six children and live in New York and New Mexico.
Book Description
In Getting the Love You Want, Dr. Harville Hendrix presents the relationship skills that have already helped hundreds of thousands of couples to replace confrontation and criticism with a healing process of mutual growth and support. This extraordinary practical guide describes the revolutionary technique of Imago Relationship Therapy, which combines a number of disciplines--including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, among others--to create a program to resolve conflict and renew communication and passion.
Getting the Love You Want describes the three stages of intimate relationships, provides illustrative case studies and gives helpful recommendations to overcome the obstacles in those stages to create a stronger bond between couples. First, he chronicles the stages of most relationships-attraction, romantic love and the power struggle-and suggests ways for partners to identify the conflicts associated with each of them. Then, he explores methods for achieving a "Conscious Marriage," where the early phases of romance are rekindled and confrontation is slowly replaced by growth and support. Finally, Dr. Hendrix incorporates these ideas into a unique therapeutic course, offering a series of proven exercises that lead to insight, resolution and revitalization. Step by step, he describes how to communicate with greater accuracy and sensitivity, how to let go of self-defeating behaviors, and how to focus energy on meeting each partners' needs.
With Getting the Love You Want couples in any stage of a relationship can resolve their conflicts and achieve mutual emotional satisfaction.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 123 more reviews...
 Worth a Good Look November 12, 2008
Melody
122 out of 123 found this review helpful
I looked at this book from a different perspective than most readers. I didn't read it as a person in need of relationship advice. Rather, I read it as a person who has been happily married for 22 years. My question was, how closely did the advice in this book match what I was doing successfully?
A bestseller since 1988, the book is separated into 3 sections:
-the first part talks about how unmet childhood needs can affect your future relationships.
-the second part talks about a marriage that can fulfil your unmet childhood needs in constructive ways.
-lastly, part three is the exercises. Here you'll be taken through a series of exercises that you can do at home that have been actually used in the author's practice. They're easy to do and involve writing.
Well, that's a rough synopsis that should give you a little bit of a feel as to how the book is set up- and what its about.
So how closely did the advice in this book match what I have been doing all this time to create a successful 22-year marriage? Perfectly- both the book and I promote the idea that you have to work at your marriage to make it work!
And perhaps that's the best piece of advice of all: find constructive ways to make you marriage better- and that's one thing this book most certainly succeeds at. Other self-help books I liked include Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World.
Getting the love you want. October 24, 2008
Marc Rich (Roslyn, WA)
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
Harville's approach to relationships helps you find out who you are and how you love. I recommend this to friends all the time.
Excellent for singles or couples! October 21, 2008
L. Farner (Indianapolis, IN)
This book was recommended to me by my marriage therapist to help my husband and I understand why we act the way we do in relationships. The book helps see what in our childhoods led to the way we act in our adult relationships. It goes on to help understand one another and grow and heal from these experiences to create a much better, healthier marriage. I highly recommend this book regardless of whether you're married or not. It could be beneficial for current relationships, understanding past relationships and future relationships.
Excellent September 21, 2008
Ronald D. Weinstein (Georgetown, Texas)
As a psychotherapy training supervisor, I highly recommend this book for singles, couples and those professionals open to a different slant on relationships.
fantastic.... September 14, 2008
Sue Lundquist (Woodinville, WA.)
Back in the early/mid 90's I was lucky enough to get this book recommended to me. I have shared it with many and continue to do so. I recommend this to anyone!!!! Better yourself, you will inturn better your relationships.
Thank you!
www.imthankful.com
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