|
Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships |  | Author: Diane Vaughan
Publisher: Vintage
Category: Book
List Price: $16.00
Buy Used: $0.01
as of 7/30/2010 05:29 CDT details
You Save: $15.99 (100%)
New (23) Used (131) Collectible (2) from $0.01
Seller: internationalbooks
Rating:  40 reviews
Sales Rank: 137881
Media: Paperback
Pages: 272
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.5
Dimensions (in): 7.9 x 5.1 x 0.7
ISBN: 0679730028
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.89
EAN: 9780679730026
ASIN: 0679730028
Publication Date: September 5, 1990
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
| |
| Also Available In:
|
| Similar Items:
| |
| Editorial Reviews:
Product Description
Now in trade paperback, the ground-breaking and carefully documented book that shows how couples come apart.
|
| Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 40
 not a terribly pleasant book to read, but worthwhile July 18, 2010
Peeter Joot (Markham, Ontario, Canada)
This was also an interesting book to read. It isn't a self help book, and isn't even about cause and effect. Instead it describes the sociological and almost statistical tendencies and patterns that occur in relationship breakdown.
Again and again as I read the book I found parallels from my own life. It was so strong that I found myself getting angry a few times. Not because I was angry at myself or my former spouse, but just because the author had recognized and organized the breakdown patterns so well it seemed almost fatalistic. It was as if we were puppets in the big play of life. This happens, then this happens next, then that, ... on and on we were following the same old pattern as everybody else like there was no choice in the matter.
The key here is the recognition that these are the patterns that play out and can be observed in an already failed relationship. That doesn't mean that things couldn't have been done along the way, or that this was how it had to be ... just that when things do bomb, many of the same things can be observed in the shrapnel and resulting carnage.
All in all, this was an excellently researched and organized examination of the relationship breakdown process. I'd recommend it to anybody who has had some trouble coming to terms with a relationship termination. There's a good chance that many of the observations will be relevant to you too and help shed some light on some of the mystery associated with the way people tend to behave in breakdown scenerios.
Everyone Considering a Relationship Should Read This Book April 30, 2010
Larry E. Nelson (Charleston, SC)
This is the best book for anyone who is either in a relationship, or is considering getting married or entering a committed relationship. As the others reviewers stated it is brilliant! What most of the reviewers have missed is what I consider to be the critical point of the whole book. Which is: If you are not willing to communicate openly and directly to your partner on what your needs and desires are, and if you are not going to tell your partner what upsets you, then you WILL go down the path outlined by the book. That is, most likely you will break up if you are unhappy with your relationship and do not discuss why you are not happy. Most of us shrink back from direct communcations with our partners (me included). This book will show you the path you WILL go down by not communicating, and in doing so, you realize that if you stand any chance of staying together you MUST communicate honestly ---- even if it is painful in the short term. In the long run you will be MUCH happier. It is wonderful that I have given you the key to successful relationships (the last page of the book), but to really take it to heart you will have to read the book. As the book says, if you are unhappy and have not said to your partner, "I am unhappy in our relationship and here's why.....", then you are not giving your partner the opportunity to negotiate the relationship with you. The book also allows you to see the other side of things, that is, maybe your significant other is not happy with you! The book provides a glimpse of what they are going through. This book is a MUST READ even if you are not having problems....it will scare you into directly communicating!
Valuable at any point in the process, or after January 6, 2010
A Reader (Seattle, WA USA)
I think Dianne Vaughan's book is an elegant and incisive rendering of the dynamics that exist when a couple comes apart. It is not a pop psych book, although interviews are included to demonstrate real examples of her theory. It is reasonably scholarly AND accessible to the lay public.
I would recommend reading Uncoupling at any point in the disintegration of a relationship. The earlier you read it, the greater your understanding; it may not keep you two together, but you will find useful information for dealing with the process, and at the very least, a way to frame what is happening to you both.
I would also recommend it for people who still grieve a distant parting. If you are "stuck" ruminating about how something ended, I think it will help you achieve release and the freedom to resume a part of your life that has been in suspension - at least it is doing that for me.
The experience is sad, enraging, tragic, liberating, a riddle....I am sure there are hundreds of adjectives for uncoupling. This won't cure your sorrow, but it will give you a way to understand what has or is occurring, and indirectly achieve some distance from the pain. Remember, coming apart is an almost universal experience, and seeing how many people describe the event helps reinforce that notion; you are not alone.
Autopsy of a Relationship August 24, 2009
SusieCreamCheese (Seattle, WA USA)
Uncoupling has been the most life changing book I've read. It is intelligent, liberating, profound. It's the how, not the why, of the death of a relationship. While it's not a self-help book, it was extremely helpful in answering so many questions that my ex had been unable to provide. Learning the process can be a step forward, if you want to take it.
I was so struck by the insight into our relationship that I recommended it to my ex. It inspired a deep and meaningful conversation, possibly the best we've ever had. I'm looking forward to the discussion we'll have when he's read it, too.
Helps You Move On April 19, 2009
Mr. Roy B. Mccammon
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships by Diane Vaughan
This book won't save your relationship. It won't tell you what went wrong. It won't save your next relationship. What it will tell you is where you are in the process of ending the relationship. This process tends to be unstoppable and knowing that helps you accept the end and move on. The reason this works is that the book gives you a catalog of the types of break-ups and enough description for you to figure out which type is happening and where you are in the type. It is spot on to the point that you cannot fool yourself and you accept the inevitable and start the healing.
This is a really good book to give someone who cannot get past their previous relationship or are dazed and confused about what is happening.
Showing reviews 1-5 of 40
|
|
|
 SEO and Marketing Tips | |
