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Remarried with Children: Ten Secrets for Successfully Blending and Extending Your Family |  | Author: Barbara LeBey
Publisher: Bantam
Category: Book
List Price: $14.00
Buy New: $7.75
as of 7/30/2010 05:26 CDT details
You Save: $6.25 (45%)
New (19) Used (11) from $6.95
Seller: one-world-books
Rating:  11 reviews
Sales Rank: 200704
Media: Paperback
Pages: 320
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.3
Dimensions (in): 8.8 x 5.8 x 0.8
ISBN: 0553382004
Dewey Decimal Number: 646.78
EAN: 9780553382006
ASIN: 0553382004
Publication Date: October 25, 2005
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
It's the most daunting task many parents will ever face: bringing two growing families together into one brand new marriage. But even though statistics show that most remarriages are at high risk--especially when there are kids involved--more and more people are learning how to make them work and more and more kids are coming out of them with their psyches and souls intact. This honest and hopeful book looks at those successes--and at some failures--to show what they have in common: ten essential secrets that are at the heart of a healthy blended family.
As a stepparent with six children in a blended family, Barbara LeBey draws on her own family's hard-won success, as well as on extensive interviews and new research to show how to navigate the stresses, sticking points, pitfalls and perils most couples don't even anticipate. Starting with her first controversial secret--that the new marriage comes first, even before the demands of the children--LeBey debunks prevalent stepfamily myths and anticipates common traps. (Among them, money issues, warring stepsiblings, and destructive exes.) A strong advocate for children (including how to guard against fade-out parenting), she also suggests ways that in-laws, schools, and the legal system itself could provide better support for blended families. REmarried with Children is an expert, compassionate, down-to-earth book to turn to over and over again for advice, support and sanity.
Key topics include how to:
-Meet your children's and stepchildren's needs--without letting them undermine your new marriage
-Understand the new roles, new rules, and the new relationships for children and stepchildren of a blended family
-Deal with angry and/or manipulative exes--without adding fuel to the fire
-Handle key decisions about finances, religion, traditions, behavior and discipline
-Maintain healthy relationships with your children's grandparents--and other relatives--from a previous marriage
-Recognize warning signs of trouble ahead--and get the help you need
From the Hardcover edition.
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| Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 11
 gives way too much benefit of the doubt July 28, 2010
Jenny Fields (South Florida)
I bought this book based on the positive reviews here on Amazon, and was extremely disappointed in it. The author gives way too much benefit of the doubt to the adults who are remarrying, assuming that they are rational, thoughtful people who can look out for other people's interests as well as their own. She also assumes that these people have eased into the relationship somewhat slowly, have had ample exposure to the kids involved, and do not live together before marriage. That's not the reality for a lot of people I know.
There also seems to be a fairly strong anti-child bias (example: "The Taming of a Step-Brat" page 19 - why the hostile wording?), and the theme that as long as the adults are happy the kids will just have to suck it up and adjust permeates the book. On page 164, there is a section on what do IF your kids are going to be involved in your wedding to new spouse. How can you create a "new" family while not including the kids? (and what's with the hint: Let your photographer know in advance that you don't want a wedding album filled with pictures of only "cute kids". Seriously?) The chapter "Sensitive Issues and Bad Influences" is just weird and disturbing - on page 210 there begins a section called "Lolita and Stepdad" where the author talks about "Jill" who decides that she's going to try to seduce her stepdad as a way to show her mom who's in control - and then on the next page says that "most inappropriate sexual incidents take place between a stepfather and stepdaughter". While she does ultimately say that it's always the adult's fault for sexual abuse, it takes several paragraphs to get there, and in the meantime buys into the stereotype of the teenage girl who uses her body as a weapon.
While there are some good ideas in this book - full disclosure about financial obligations, getting along for holidays/birthdays/etc - this is a book that could be picked up by people who are totally self-involved narcissists and could easily find dozens of things that would justify treating their kids and other family members as interlopers into their super-special relationship (which will always trump the needs of everyone else). So you may end up with the love of your life, but your kids might not want anything to do with you.
Remarried with Children June 25, 2010
Lori Cannon (TEXAS, US)
This is a great book to start with if you are considering blending your family with another due to remarriage. It gives several examples of what could happen, which is great since there were some things that I did not think about before reading this book.
 Very Helpful April 16, 2010
A. Odom (TN)
This book was very helpful to me. Well worth the money. Take notes, there are a lot of things that you can use in everyday life with your new family. This book covers all kinds of family senerios so don't worry it will help with yours too.
Read This Before You Remarry With Children! October 8, 2009
J. L. Miles (Lilburn, GA United States)
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
This book was not available when I remarried a man with three children and I made every mistake this book warns against. But I forgive myself as it is a daunting task to sucessfully bring two families together in a remarriage. Statistics show that remarriages are at a high risk, especially when there are children involved. Remarried With Children outlines a plan of action centered around ten secrets that are guaranteed to keep you on track. This well-researched book looks at case histories of successes and failures in remarriage to identify exactly what they have in common. It thoroughly examines the areas where remarriages are most likely to fail and offers expert advice on what to do to avoid them. If you or someone you love is planning to remarry with children I highly recommend this book!
A Lot of Information March 3, 2006
Jennifer B (Frisco, TX)
4 out of 7 found this review helpful
This book is full of useful information. It is one of four books that my husband and I received when we got remarried. I am reading through it and finding it helpful. My husband has been less interested --- he prefers more of a "story-telling" approach, he tends to read a lot faster and skip over things. Both of us have found this book helpful in our remarried life.
Showing reviews 1-5 of 11
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