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Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love | 
 enlarge | Author: Helen Fisher
Publisher: Holt Paperbacks
Category: Book
List Price: $15.00
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Rating:  34 reviews
Sales Rank: 28843
Media: Paperback
Pages: 320
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.1
Dimensions (in): 8.4 x 5.8 x 0.9
ISBN: 0805077960
Dewey Decimal Number: 152.4
EAN: 9780805077964
ASIN: 0805077960
Publication Date: January 2, 2005
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Condition: Brand new, unmarked copy.
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Product Description
"If you want flashes and particular experiences of romantic love, read novels. If you want to understand this central quality of human nature to its roots, read Why We Love."
—Edward O. Wilson
In Why We Love, renowned anthropologist Helen Fisher offers a new map of the phenomenon of love—from its origins in the brain to the thrilling havoc it creates in our bodies and behavior. Working with a team of scientists to scan the brains of people who had just fallen madly in love, Fisher proved what psychologists had until recently only suspected: when you fall in love, specific areas of the brain "light up" with increased blood flow. This sweeping new book uses this data to argue that romantic passion is hardwired into our brains by millions of years of evolution. It is not an emotion; it is a drive as powerful as hunger.
Provocative, enlightening, engaging, and persuasive, Why We Love offers radical new answers to age-old questions: what love is, who we love—and how to keep love alive.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 29 more reviews...
 Summer Reading for Scientists! August 12, 2008
Ramsey (Simi Valley)
Essentially this is a scientific thesis paper that has been adapted into Nonfiction, Helen Fisher gives us concrete information about why humans love and how they can keep that love strong through the ages. The findings from her studies Informs us on the evolution of humanity and how the brain works. This is used to supplement the theory that humans are biologically hotwired for romance.
I thought this was a great read, particularly if you are confused about your own love life or feel jilted by previous relationships. The Analytical framework makes the information easy to swallow, and the cornucopia of romantic quotables that Fisher uses is staggering, and wonderful. A very light read and highly accessible. And a nice chaser if you have been reading too much Cormac McCarthy.
 Undoubtedly the silliest book I've ever read July 10, 2008
Cristina Canziani (Atlanta, GA USA)
0 out of 7 found this review helpful
I bought this book because I am revisiting the question of whether God exists and have come to the point where I can make a good argument either way. On God's plus side are art and love: so a book about love, written by a pseudoscientist, deserves serious consideration and an open mind.
I have made heaps of notes for every instance where the author makes an assertion, with little foundation or entirely on speculation, only to contradict herself on the next page. Her thesis is that "love" is nothing more that brain chemistry urging us to reproduce and pass on our DNA. So, clearly, the brain chemistry of same-sex partners must prevent them from loving each other as does the brain chemistry of individuals past their reproductive cycles. And, clearly, those individuals who have absolutely no wish to reproduce are incapable of falling in love at all.
This book is a complete waste of time and an even bigger waste of money. I will admit, however, that it has prompted me to think about love and the underlying question (is there a God/is there not a God)from an entirely fresh perspective. But what I find most interesting about this book is the author's inability to fully commit herself to her thesis, thus the snippets of poetry and humanizing anecdotes at the start of each chapter.
 speculative, but a brilliant attempt. March 9, 2008
Alexander Kemestrios Ben (Allendale, Mi. USA)
10 out of 11 found this review helpful
This book suceeds on two levels. First, it is scientifically rigorous, though speculative. (those who accuse Fisher of being a popularizer obviously have never read her technical journal articles, nor other articles on this subject by researchers. She is no more speculative than they.) Second, it is existentially enlightening and empathetic. Fisher does not just wish to share her scientific insights into romantic love, she wishes to let you know that she feels your pains and joys. She wishes to explain and understand.
Fisher begins by laying out the basic external and internal manifestations of romantic love. What does it do to people? Here she is spot on. It causes us to focus our energy on the beloved, endow that person with special meaning, increases our energy, etc. Most importantly, it causes obsessive, intrusive thinking. We can't go a minute without the object of our desire popping into our head! Now, I am not a betting man, but I am sure everyone can relate to this description.
After describing the basic characteristics of romantic love, Fisher discusses the possible neural underpinnings that cause such intense feelings. She speculates that humans have three different systems: 1)Lust. This is mostly controlled by testosterone. This drive causes one night stands and other stupid behaviors us men seem to excell at. 2) romantic love. This drive is caused by increasing dopamine levels stimulating 'pleasure centers' in the brain. Specifically, the ventral tegmental area, caudate nucleus, and probably the nucleus accumbens. Romantic love probably also involves an increase in norepinephrine and a decrease in serotonin. The last is worth a brief explanation. It is well known that increased levels of serotonin are correlated with a sense of serenity, good moods, and an ability to inhibit behavior. So, would it not make sense for romantic love to raise levels of serotonin? No, actually it would not. Serotonin is known to be very low in people who suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. Does this sound familiar? Indeed, people who have early-stage romantic attachment are very obsessive. It seems that the drop in serotonin is partially responsible for our wild inability to control our thoughts during this intensely emotional stage. 3) attachment, or bonding. This stage seems to be modulated most by two very important peptides: Vasopressin and Oxytocin. Both of these peptide/hormone/neurotransmitters are responsible for creating pleasurable sensations and feelings of calm. They are also known to be the causal forces behind pair bonding in rhodents. Humans are certainly more complex than rats, but evolution is very conservative. It is reasonable to postulate these peptides as important players in the pair bonding game.
After dipping into the scientific goo, Fisher speculates on the evolution of our three mating drives. Why do humans have three? Lust evolved to spread our genes far and wide. It is the drive that makes us seek partners on the quick. Romantic love evolved to bring indviduals close together for longer periods of time. In humans this is important because we have systems of biparental care where both parents are vital in ensuring the survival of offspring. The pair bonding system probably evolved for the same reason as the romantic love system, except humans needed the bonding part to stay together during the long stage of infant development. The longer a man stayed around to provide his child with resources the better.
There are many more details, speculations, and findings reported in this fascinating work, but you will have to read it for yourself.
Personally, I am amazed at the explanatory power of Fisher's synthesis. I remember pining long hours (days, months) over many pulchritudinous young women. Some got so stuck in my noggin that I couldn't concentrate for weeks. I thought I was going mad. It seemed to me at the time that the best description of the feeling was addiction. That is, I felt like I was consistently being shot up with a powerful drug and if I didn't get my fix, I would go crazy. Hence the obsessive attempts to be around my crushes. How pathetic I was!! Yet, when I read Fisher's work, I realized love is like a uber-powerful drug. Dopamine is scandalous in its workings. How much heart-ache and bliss have our neurotransmitters caused us? How much irrational poetry and music?
To understand this feeling will not help you feel happy when you are rejected, nor will it take the pleasure away if you fall in love. It may, however, give you some peace of mind and put things into perspective.
Great book!
Memorable September 19, 2007
Heather Kizewski (Amherst, Wisconsin)
There was a lot of detailed scientific information that was actually quite interesting to learn about and also to retain. A lot of the things I read in here I've never forgotten. It gets into physical chemistry - pheromones, neurotransmitters, the big role that the neurotransmitter dopamine plays in love, as well as the hormone oxytocin (in females). Anyway, I'd highly recommend this to anyone interested in dissecting why we're attracted to certain people and the chemicals our brain releases when we are in love.
 Too wordy September 19, 2007
Surge (Cincinnati, OH USA)
4 out of 6 found this review helpful
The whole of the book can probably fit on 20 pages if it wasn't for references to irrelevant personalities that lived centuries ago and said obvious things. Why do books of this kind feel compelled to quote Shakespear in the original with all those arcane words? It just makes it hard to read. Once you do take the time to decipher them, the ideas are so obvious that it's really not necessary to mention them. For example (and I'm approximating because I don't have the book around), a chapter would be titled "Passion" and then the author just has to mention some guy in the 12th century who said something like "Passion consumes you day and night". Everybody knows how passion feels, let's move on.
But to be fair, I did find the info on chemical processes involved in love very interesting.
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